lol!

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland,Oregon,I had one of those life changing experiences that you hear other people talk about

You know, the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly?

Well, this one occurred a mere two feet away from me!

Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way,I noticed a man coming toward me carrying 2 light bags . He stopped right next to me to greet his family.

First, he motioned to his youngest son (maybe 6 yrs old) as he laid down his bags

They gave each other a long & movingly loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other’s face,I heard the father say,

“It’s so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!”

His son smiled somewhat shyly, diverted his eyes & replied softly,
“Me too, Dad!”

Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe 9) & while cupping his son’s face in his hands he said,

“You’re already quite the young man. I love you very much Zach!”

They too hugged a most loving, tender hug. His son said nothing. No reply was necessary.

While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one and a half) was squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father

The man said, “Hi baby girl!” as he gently took the child from her mother

He quickly kissed her face all over & then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side.

The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder & remained motionless in total pure contentment

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son & declared
“I’ve saved the best for last!”

& proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing

He gazed into her eyes for several seconds & then quietly said,
“I love you so much!”.

They stared into each other’s eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands.

For an instant, they reminded me of newlyweds but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn’t be.

I puzzled about it for a moment, then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm’s length away from me

I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I were invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, “Wow! How long have you two been married?”

“Been together 14 yrs total, married 12 of those.” he replied without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face

“Well then, how long have you been away?” I asked

The man finally looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile & told me, “2 whole days!”

2 days?!
I was stunned!
I was certain by the intensity of the greeting I just witnessed that he’d been gone for at least several weeks, if not months, and I know my expression betrayed me

So, I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (& to get back to searching for my friend),

“I hope my marriage is still that passionate after 12 yrs!”

The man suddenly stopped smiling He looked me straight in the eye & with an
intensity that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person

He told me, “Don’t hope friend…decide.”

Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand & said,
“God bless!”

With that, he & his family turned & energetically strode away together.

I was still watching that special man & his exceptional family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me & asked,

“What’cha looking at?”

Sebelum memulakan seminar, Prof.Ibrahim mengeluarkan sehelai wang kertas bernilai RM100 dari dompetnya. Kemudian wang itu ditayangkan kepada 50 orang pesertanya.

“Siapa nak duit ni?” tanya Prof Ibrahim..

Semua peserta mengangkat tangan.

“Saya akan berikan duit ini kepada salah seorang daripada kamu, tapi izinkan saya membuat sesuatu dahulu “. Prof Ibrahim meramas-ramas duit itu hingga renyuk.

Kemudian dia menunjukkan duit yang sudah renyuk itu dan bertanya: “Ada sesiapa yang nak duit ini lagi?”

Hampir semua pesertanya mengangkat tangan. Prof Ibrahim mengangguk dan mencebikkan bibir.

“Okey apa kata kalau saya buat macam ni?”

Duit RM100 itu dicampakkan dan di tenyeh-tenyeh dengan kasutnya..

Prof Ibrahim memungutnya semula lalu diletakkan di atas meja. Wang kertas itu bukan sahaja renyuk tetapi juga kotor.

“Sekarang siapa nak duit ni?” tanya Prof Ibrahim.

Selesai dia bertanya, lebih separuh daripada jumlah pesertanya masih mengangkat tangan.

“Okay, apa yang boleh kita kutip daripada peristiwa itu tadi?” tanya Prof. Ibrahim lagi.

Pesertanya hanya diam, dan sesetengahnya hanya menggelengkan kepala. Mereka masih tidak dapat menangkap apa yang cuba disampaikan oleh Prof Ibrahim.

“Walau apapun yang saya lakukan pada duit ini, kamu tetap akan mahukannya. Betul tak? Kamu tahu kenapa? Kerana nilainya tidak berubah walaupun dipijak dan ditenyeh dengan kasut.”

“RM100 tetap RM100 walaupun 10 kali dipijak.” kata Prof.Ibrahim. Semua peserta yang mendengar kata-katanya hanya tersenyum.

Prof Ibrahim mengaitkan peristiwa itu dengan kehidupan seharian. Sering kali di dalam hidup,setiap orang akan merasai kejatuhan, hati hancur, ataupun dihina. Hinggakan suatu ketika kita akan merasa diri kita tidak berguna langsung.

“Tetapi walau apapun yang telah terjadi, ataupun yang akan terjadi, anda tidak akan hilang harga diri. Bersih atau kotor, renyuk atau licin, anda tetap berharga terutama pada mereka yang disayangi.”

“Harga diri kita bukan datang daripada apa yang kita lakukan atau siapa yang kita kenal tapi siapa sebenarya kita?”jelas Prof Ibrahim.

Semua peserta ternganga mendengar penerangan profesor itu dan mereka lantas mengiyakan kebenaran kata-kata profesor itu…

Ah Kau is a guy who sells newspaper every morning next to your apartment, and you are one of his daily regular customers. Before dashing off to your office every day, you will go to his small stall and buy The Star newspaper. Wearing a newly pressed shirt, a tie, and a pair of Clarks shoes, you grab a copy of The Star, pay RM1.20 and exchange smiles with Ah Kau and greet him.

“Apa macam Ah Kau ini hari? Bisnes ada baik?”

The normal greeting like you do every day. Yes, Ah Kau doesn’t speak English. He speaks Chinese and knows a little bit of Malay. He speaks a little bit of Malay but with a very thick Chinese accent.

“Biasa saja! ini bisnes aa, kadang kadang baik, kadang kadang tada untung.

“Biasalah hidup. Kadang kadang ok, kadang kadang tak ok.”

You give Ah Kau a pat on the back. You smile and walk away and get into your car. You start the engine and start driving to your office, a multinational semiconductor company located in a premier industrial area. You are a young and promising finance executive and the future looks bright for you.

A year goes by and things look pretty good on the track. You decide to marry your fiance and have your new wife moves in to your place. Both of you feel happy because you can save more money as the two of you will be sharing one apartment and can live as one.

Ah Kau is still selling the newspaper as usual. Sometimes in the morning your wife gets the newspaper from Ah Kau instead of you.

A year later a child comes along, and you decide to buy and move into a newly developed condominium just across the street. This place is bigger so it will be perfectly fit for the 3 of you. But since both of you are working, you decide to get a maid to take of the household and your kid.

By this time you’re offered a managerial job from another multinational; the remuneration package offered is much better in terms of the pay, contractual bonus, medical benefits, ESOS scheme and a few others which make it impossible for you to decline. So you join this company happily.

You get busier. You realize that you spend less and less time with your family. When your department is busy preparing for the next audit, your working hours become more and more ridiculous. Any internal issues arising in the office means you’ll be stuck in the office until 8 or 9 pm. Sometimes, during the weekend, you’ll spend your time in your office, buried under paper works and documentations, instead of taking your family for a walk in the park.

One morning, on your way to get your copy of The Star, you realized that Ah Kau is no longer in his stall. So is his rundown motorbike. Instead, there’s another young Chinese guy at the stall.

“What happen to Ah Kau?” You ask out of curiosity.

“Oh, he is still around, but he is no longer taking care of this stall as he has opened up a new grocery shop down town. I am running this newspaper stall for him.”

“Ok.” you smile. You feel happy for Ah Kau. At last he manages to improve his life.

Your normal life continues. A year passes by and at the end of your company’s fiscal year, you’re rewarded for your effort with a 5 months bonus pay-out by your employer. Wow. Now that is a very handsome reward. You feel your effort has been equally compensated. To celebrate, you decide that it’s time to trade your 5-year old Proton Wira to the latest Honda Civic model. It won’t be much a problem to you to get a loan scheme from the bank as your pay slip will provide you an easy gateway to access financial help from any bank.

One day, the hardest reality of life hits you right on the face. The company that you’ve been working for years announces that they’re moving their business to China for cost and competitive reason and has asked you to find a job somewhere else.

“What?”

You scream out cold. “I got a lot of liabilities on the card! Who’s gonna pay for my mortgage? My car? My credit card? My gym fees? My bills?” You yell like there’s no way out.

This is the first time you feel let down by your own employer. All your hard work seem to go up on the smoke. You feel sick. You now hate your company. On the way home, you stopped by at a mamak restaurant for a cup of teh tarik while pondering
about your future.

Alone.

Suddenly you saw this new, shiny BMW 3 series being parked nearby. And to your surprise, it was Ah Kau. Yes, Ah Kau who used to sell newspapers nearby your old apartment.

“What happened to old Ah Kau?” You whisper to your self.

Ah Kau still recognizes you, and sit next to you, and shared his story.

To make it short, Ah Kau had accumulated his money from selling newspapers to open more stalls, one after another. Every new stall is run by his workers so that he focused on opening more and more stalls, which in turn give him more and more money.

Over the years, he had accumulated enough cash to open up new grocery store while at the same time buying more assets to grow his wealth. And his current wealth and success is achieved without any loan or financial help from banks and other
financial institutions.

There you go. That’s the story. While Ah Kau is set to become financially free, you’re back to where you’re started before. Ground zero .

Before leaving, Ah Kau gives you a familiar quote,

” Biasalah hidup. Kadang kadang ok, kadang kadang tak ok.”

He gives you a pat on the back and walks away.

In reality, if you’re observant enough, there are a lot of Ah Kaus out there, that you will see every day and every where you go. The names are different, but inside them is every character of Ah Kau. They might be Uncle Dorai, Ah Chong, Pak Abu, Makcik Gemuk, Pak Man nasi lemak or others.

They look to be struggling on the surface, but if you look carefully and compare with you life, many of them are living with little or no liabilities. They ride an old kapcai bike. They live in an old rundown house. They don’t have credit card to swipe. They wear a 10-year old shirt and short. No new, shiny Toyota Harrier.
In short, their living means are far below than yours. But what you don’t realize is that many of them can save more money than yours, and over the years generate enough money to expand their business, or invest in properties. Their asset columns are much thicker than that of yours.

So the next time you see Ah Kaus, never look down on them, and never under estimate them. Or else you’re up for a harsh reality lesson.

Someone forward this stimulating story to me. Enjoy and take lessons on the importance of financial management and living within our means. 

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, “I’ve got something to tell you.”

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, “why?”

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn’t love her anymore… I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest… I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, “Dad, it’s time to carry mum out.”

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, “I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.”

I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, “Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.”

She looked at me, astonished and then touched my forehead. “Do you have a fever?” She said.

I moved her hand off my head.

“Sorry, Dew”, I said,

“I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.” 

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:

I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah.. blah. .blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

p/s: This a real life-based story that i got from the internet.~~duhh,i know that we cant really trust internet nowadays-whether this is real or fake!,but this is sooo good!a touching love story..hope it can be reblogged ongoingly so that the messages can be spread throughout the world..enjoy!

love,

~sunshineismine~